One day I went to an alley behind a thrift shop looking for strange old hoboes to buy treasure maps or haunted game cartridges from since I read too much creepypasta. I eventually found a hobo but all he gave me was a damn hookah. I was disappointed, but hey, it's something.
I took the hookah home and opened it and it was full of realistic blood. That hobo must've been onto something, so I lit it and smoked the realistic blood. Smoking it caused the blood to turn from realistic to hyper-realistic, and then I was high.
When I got high, the music started becoming distorted and the colors got washed out. Then there were no colors. And then the walls started bleeding realistic blood. I screamed, since walls aren't supposed to bleed. Then I licked up some of the blood, and it tasted like cherry pie. I licked some more blood, and then fell through the black hole in the wall that appeared and ended up in Istanbul.
After leaving Istanbul, I fell through the ground and sonic attacked me and made me bleed realistic blood, which also tasted like cherry pie. And then my chest burst open and then LOLSKELETONS popped out. He gave me a copy of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and then ran away, and I fell further into the black void. I eventually fell past Ryan, who threw me a ham and potato chip sandwich which I ate because I had nothing else to do and the hookah gave me the munchies.
After falling for hours I landed on a pile of Cleric's tentacle boners which proceeded to [REDACTED] me in the [DATA EXPUNGED]. And then Sarah kicked my ass and I woke up the next day in my bed, and there was a scary hyper-realistic poster on my wall.
And that's how I decided to never smoke that hookah again until the next day when I got bored. I then proceeded to keep doing this almost every day because I had nothing better to do.
♫ - Pearl Jam: Hummus